Loved Past Death
by 13luckystars
Summary: Frerard. One of my older Frerard's meaning the story is okay but how its written isnt very good.


Franks POV 

It was lunch time and Gerard, Bob and his girlfriend, Ray and his girlfriend, Gerard's brother Mikey and his girlfriend, and I along with my girlfriend were sitting outside under a big tree eating and talking.

Through the whole lunch period Gerard sat with his back against the tree, which was a few feet away from us, and drew. I had seen some of Gerard's work and he was quite the artist, but I hated seeing him feel left out from our group since we have girlfriends and he doesn't.

I looked back and forth between my girlfriend and Gerard. How could I have picked her over him? I thought to myself seeing Gerard's lonely expression.

That was how lunch went every day, Gerard drew, I felt bad, and the others kissed and talked. It made me disgusted at how left out we made Gerard feel, to bad I wasn't strong enough to do anything about it.

Gerard's POV 

I hate lunch, I thought as I reached my bedroom and slammed the door. The guys don't ever care that I feel left out every day. They don't even notice how far away I sit from them. Frank doesn't even notice how I look at them.

I looked at the sketch that I had been drawing at lunch. It was of Frank, the one I loved, the one I couldn't have. I sighed and threw the sketchpad at the wall on the other side of the room and fell onto my bed.

Slowly I got into my bedside table and grabbed out a box. Inside it were all kinds of random things, pencils, wads of paper, buttons, batteries, you name it. Underneath all these useless objects, was one special thing, one special thing that took all of my emotional pain away. When I picked out the razorblade I carried it into my bathroom, leaned over the sink and cut into the pale flesh of my wrist. With one cut my whole body relaxed.

Franks POV

School time again and I had already been shoved into countless lockers, gotten my head shoved into the toilet, and covered with spitballs. When the bell signaling lunch finally rang I jumped out of my seat and ran outside.

Once again Gerard was sitting against the tree, sketching, away from the guys and their girlfriends. This time though I went and sat next to him instead of joining the guys.

"Hey Gee." I said sitting down.

"Whatcha working on…" I started when I saw the scars and fresh cuts that lined the bare part of Gerard's arm. He had a long sleeve shirt on today, and since his arm had been dragging up the paper the sleeve was down farther on his arm, showing the bare skin.

Grabbing his arm I said, "Gerard what the fuck?"

"Emotional release." Was all he said as he pulled his arm away from my grip. "You wouldn't understand." He added getting up from his sitting position. With that I watched him walk away, sketchbook in hand.

"Where's Gerard going?" Mikey asked, watching his brother leave.

I didn't answer, all I could think of was the scars that were all the way up Gerard's arms, and I fell into the grass.

Gerard's POV

I could tell Frank was worried about the cuts, but he wouldn't understand. As I had walked away, I had decided tonight would be the night, the night that I would say goodbye to my life.

As I wrote out my goodbye letters, my eyes started to tear up. When I wrote down Franks name at the beginning of his, all of the tears started falling down my cheeks, covering the paper in tear stains.

After writing the letters I headed to the bathroom where the razorblade was waiting. One long swift motion and I watched curiously at the blood that dripped down my arm. As the world wen black, I smiled as all my pain was finally released.

Franks POV

Mrs. Way had called me telling me that Gerard was dead and he had left me a note.

As I pulled into the driveway, my tears finally spilled out of my eyes and down my cheeks, I got out of the car and walked over to where Mikey and his parents were standing. Not hesitating, I hugged Mikey and we sobbed together.

After about half an hour of hugging and crying Mrs. Way gave me the letter and I began reading the words, noticing the tear stains that covered the page.

_ Frank,_

_If you're reading this it means I must be dead, and that means I was successful. I had to do this, and I want you to understand that. I couldn't take the looks and the kisses you shared with Ashley. Seeing you and the guys talking and kissing happily at lunch made me sick. I would sit at the tree and watch you guys and draw, no of you noticed the looks that I sent your way, none of you cared. I had been cutting for months Frank, months, and the first time you noticed was yesterday. I was happy that you had a girlfriend, and that you were happy, but ever since Ashley came you barely looked at me. What happened to mated before dates? The whole time what you didn't understand, what you didn't see, was that I loved you. And I still do, even in death, I love you Frank. Don't cry too much for me, just remember that I love you and keep on living._

_ Always here, loving you_

_ Gee_

Connected to the letter was a drawing of me, and on the side it said, this is what I was working on Frank.

I looked up from the letter and felt more tears run down my cheeks. Gerard was dead and he loved me, more than the brother I had always thought he thought of me as, he loved me. What really hurt was that I loved him too.


End file.
